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raising a beige flag

August 9, 2011

Remember when I was thurviving?

That feels so long ago.

I quickly transitioned into surviving about 5 days after that post…and then moved right onto hanging on by a thread…and now I think I’m just a vertical pile of flesh that moves and speaks when prompted.

So clearly, things are going well!

Perhaps if I didn’t have weddings to edit things would be different. Or if, due to my own stupidity, I didn’t need to look for a new car. Or if I didn’t enjoy things like exercise, and spending time with friends, and cooking dinner every night. And, you know, sleeping.

Perhaps if I was not such a lethal combination of unrealistic personal expectations and stubbornness things would be different too, but that’s a different story for a different day.

I do not want to raise the white flag. This is likely due to aforementioned character flaws. However…I miss my real life.

The one in which I ran and blogged and baked.

The one in which I did not work 15 hours a day.

The one in which I was actually present for the goings-on of everyday life, and not just a hott mess of exhaustion.

Therefore: it’s time for some adjustments. So I’m raising a beige flag…not quite the white flag of surrender, but more like an off-white flag of knowing that this isn’t working.

Otherwise, I might just fall off the face of the earth. Which would be a worse fate than admitting to some setbacks.

(I mean, if I fall off the face of the earth, when will I blog? Or make these?!)

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